ok here is a first belly shot

Ok I know its early, but I want to keep track of how my belly will grow.

This was taken today 10-24-08,

I am roughly 4 weeks,

I started measuring my belly a few months ago, and it has been the same .

The day after our transfer 10-07-08 I measured again it was still the same 31".

So yesterday 10-23-08, my belly just felt "full" really odd, so this morning I measured,and guess what 32", I think maybe there is more than one baby in here :D

So I gained 1 inch ..lol

2nd BETA< OCTOBER 22,2008

TA DA..... my numbers more than doubled they are 4500, can you believe it. WOW

So now Im wondering how many??

I checked my beta and it says every 32 hours it was doubling...hmmmm!!!!

My ultrasound is scheduled for November 7, 2008. I will know then "how many beans are bakin' in my oven...lol"

OCTOBER 20,2008

Ok today I am going for my beta test, I cant wait to here my numbers.

Today is starting hectic, I need to go for this bloodtest, then I need to go to my grams calling hours. Everytime I seen my gram she would tell me she prays for me every nite, in hopes this works for us. When I took my first hpt I ran over to tell everyone, when I told my gram she had tears in her eyes. She has been waiting to hear this good news. She was so interested in hearing about my surrogacy. Last friday sadly she passed away. I will truly miss her. I am saddened that I wont be able to tell her the results, but then again I guess she will know. It was strange how all day I never got a call. finally at 9 I did, Lizzie, the nurse called and said "it was just strange she felt like going back to the clinic, and found my results".

We were supposed to leave at 8, thats when the calling hours ended. But for some reason we just didnt leave, or we couldnt leave. I was trying to balance my emtions, sad for my grama, but excited and happy for the pregnancy. I couldnt get very upset about my grama, due to the fact I am pregnant. I didnt want to put myself at risk for a miscarriage. And I know that my grama would want me to be very careful. The one thing that kept me together was hearing my grama time and time again saying "Im ready, I want to go". I hated hearing that, but I could underdstand how she felt. She just turned 80, and even her favorite thing of all, reading, was becoming boring to her. I think she was tired of being here. With that said, I know my grama would want me to be happy about being pregnant, and to share it with everyone. So when we got the call at the funeral home that I am officially pregnant, it was amazing. I am happy that I could be in the same place as my gram and family when I found out. I know she heard the news, I only wish I could have told her and seen her smile and hug me with happiness. I wish I could have at least had that from my gram :( But now I know I have an angel watching over me, making sure I am ok, and nothing goes wrong. I figured, since she prayed every night, God must have decided since he was taking my grama home, he would answer her prayer and help me, help another family. So I will move on and be healthy, because thats what she would want for me.

YAY WE ARE PREGNANT :D how exciting. It was so cool to have my family with me when I found out. My beta is 1399, that sounds really good. so now I will go again on Wednesday for a second beta

OCTOBER 15, 2008

Here is my positive test :D

Ok its been 3 days since my first positive, and I have been testing like crazy. Each time was a positive. But I bought a first response, and I got a dark line, wow it is so pretty. I cant wait for my IP's to find out. I don't want to tell them because I don't want to get their hopes up in case my beta numbers come back too low...

OCTOBER 2008

Here we are in October. This has been along road. I'm getting ready for our 2nd transfer. I hope this time will be the miracle.

Oct 2, I need to go for blood work and Ultrasound in Cincinnati. Gotta make sure everything is good!

Ok its a GO! we are on for Oct 6.

So we got my mom to watch the kids and decided to go down the night before. This way I can be relaxed and calm, not a nervous wreck from driving for 5 hours. Oh and I have to be there at 7:45 am. So I guess I better go the night before, huh?

Ok the transfer went well, we transferred 3 embies this time, oh no what if all 3 take!! yikes :o

I did more research, this time I will drink tons of pineapple juice and I'm staying in bed for 3 days, no baths, no lifting, the whole 9 yards. My family is ready to pick up the slack, so I don't have to do anything. I love them, they are great.

So I stayed in bed all week, my transfer was on a Monday, I don't want to chance it this time. I didn't stay in bed I stayed off my feet. Its been a nice vacation, no cooking, no cleaning. Don't get me wrong, my house isn't nasty, my husband and kids were doing all the work :D

So my transfer was Monday, today is Saturday and I cant stand it, I am in pain. Cramping like crazy, what is going on, could it be, the embies are implanting. I took a hpt this morning and got a BFN!!!

Ok today is Sunday and I felt like crap today too. I took a test this morning and got BFN!! I don't know whats going on. We went shopping and a few times I got light headed. It's 11pm right now, I think I will sneak into the bathroom and take a test, I know I am just torturing myself, but hey I'm bored....

OMG!!!!!!! I see a line, it is very faint, I cant believe it, I think it worked this time....I wont tell anyone just yet.

Ok I told Joe, I couldn't keep it to myself, plus I needed to know if he could see the line too....

I will wait a few days and buy a good test to make sure the line gets darker

SEPTEMBER 16,2008

Yesterday was our 8th wedding anniversary. It was nice. My husband is still supporting me. He keeps me going through all of this. He keeps telling me "you can do this". Its funny he is like a coach.

So anyways, Today, 9-16-08, I started, not like all of you need to know that, but hey its important. Tomorrow I start Estrace again. 2mg. 3x a day. I already have my treatment plan and I am so ready to do this again!!

Our transfer will be with frozen embies this time, I hear this sometimes is the trick. It works better.

Oh and the best part NO MORE SHOTS, hip hip hooray!!! I will be taking prometrium, its a suppository.....hey its better than a shot, a little messy, but better :D

Our 2nd transfer will be on Oct 6,2008.

SEPTEMBER 12,2008 Bloodtest

Today is the blood test (beta). I don't have any confidence that this transfer worked. I have been positive, but I don't feel it. So off I go to have my blood drawn.

Well its official, we are not pregnant. I just knew it! I feel so bad. I feel like I did something wrong. I know I didn't . It just happens sometimes.

My IP's called me tonite, I really cant handle them being so upset. My IM sounded so sad. I don't know what to say to her. I don't know how to comfort her. I need it too. I feel like I failed.

I guess we have next time to look forward to.

So I have been instructed to STOP all meds.. and wait for my cycle, yippie!!